A Series of Oceanic Misunderstandings

I don't know what happened, but at some point the crew of the streamship of which I was Acting Captain mutinied and threw me overboard. They had legitimate grievances, but I never expected them to throw me overboard like that. I probably shouldn't have insulted them, though in my defense my Portuguese is pretty bad, so some of the insults were unintentional.

How I came to be Acting Captain of a steamship is a story I might tell sometime, after certain statutory limitations have expired. Not for me, you understand, but Siggurdsen wasn't blameless in those events. He was a good companion to me and I'd hate to get him into trouble.

But Siggurdsen wasn't present at the time of my abrupt aerial departure from the deck of the steamship. Had he been, things might have gone differently. If nothing else, he would have found himself in the water with the same abrupt finality either shortly prior to me or, more likely, shortly after. Maybe he would have dived off the boat in attempt to rescue me. Siggurdsen was that sort of friend and companion.

It's pointless to dwell on hypotheticals. Siggurdsen wasn't there, he was in Havana attempting to secure funding for things which can't be mentioned for the next few years. And I was in the water watching the rapidly-disappearing stern of the steamship. They really do move much faster than sailing vessels. Definitely the transport of choice when it comes to maritime travel.

I'd like to say that I maintained a stiff upper lip, but I'd be lying. I was panicking. I'm a reasonably strong swimmer, but this was the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and unlike a steamship, the human body was not made for long, ocean-going voyages. It was a tight spot. A tighter spot you're unlikely to find, unless of course you should happen to find yourself stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean as a weak swimmer.

As luck would have it, however, I was discovered by a sailing vessel before my strength gave out. This didn't cause me to reassess my opinions on the relative quality of sails to steam, but it did make me realize that yachts are much easier to command than steamships. They have fewer crew members. It's a simple calculus.

After commandeering the yacht which had rescued me, I sailed in hot pursuit of my mutinous crew. This may seem like madness because, as previously stated, the steamship is faster than the sail. As it turned out, it was madness. I think the terrific strain of my ordeal had gotten to me. They easily outpaced me and when I finally located them, the coast guard were there. After a prolonged series of questions in Portuguese where the word "piracy" came up frequently, it was established that I couldn't really understand them and they locked me up here.

As dungeons go, Portuguese ones aren't the worst. That would be one thing this adventure has taught me. But the main takeaway from all of this is that investment in a steamship company is definitely a plan for success.

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