How That Mountain Got There

It was decided after careful consideration that Alima the Destroyer was not a good queen.

"It's not that I mind our eternal subjugation," said Gregor the Weaver. "It's almost comforting, in a way, to have that level of stability. Before Alima, cruel despots came and went, but you never knew when the next one would be popping up."

"True," said Famke the Cobbler. "And yet I can't help thinking that maybe, if we didn't have a cruel despot at all, we might be better off."

"Alima's been quite good for the economy," Hester the Grave Digger put in.

"You would say that," scoffed Gregor. "Sure, plenty of graves need dug, but just wait until she runs out of the skulls of the barbarian tribes and needs to shore up her mountain of skulls with local stock."

"I'll still dig graves for the bodies."

"But without the head, people won't want holes as big and they'll pay less for the work and then where will you be?" Gregor had a point, and they all knew it.

"I don't care for her laws," said Jurgash the Thief.

"You don't care for anyone's laws," said Famke.

"Well, under Grugg the Horrible, property crime was punishable by flogging, but I could get behind that because I could bribe the guy doing the flogging to go easy," said Jurgash.

"He did many a time," laughed Jillian the Flogger.

"But now Alima instituted a mandatory amputation for theft, to be carried out by herself, and I'm worried," said Jurgash.

"To say nothing of the loss of flogging jobs," sighed Jillian. "How will I feed my family when there's no thieves bribing me?"

"Frankly, I'm for the law and order stuff, mostly because I was tired of Jurgash always stealing my money," said Gregor.

"I still think we might be better off without a cruel and omnipotent despot," said Famke.

"Well who do you suggest? A lizard? A pot of ale? Come on, someone's got to rule the kingdom," Hester said with a degree of sarcasm in her voice.

"Well, why not one of us?" Famke asked.

She was being facetious, but the idea sounded so good to everyone that a riot started, the castle burned to the ground with Alima in it, and Jillian the Flogger found herself God-Queen of the realm. She didn't really want to be queen, but the masses wouldn't take no for an answer. As she embarked on a reign of terror by beheading Jurgash the Thief in the city square, she wondered just what had been so bad about Alima the Destroyer after all.

The seasons changed, the plague came and went, and when the elements had stripped Jurgash's skull to the bone, Jillian the Flogger added it to the pile. It wasn't a mountain, per se, but she wasn't trying to prove a point. It just seemed a pity to waste skulls.

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